“I got a sense of breathing for the first time,” said a dynamic woman whom I interviewed early on for Novofemina’s Voices of Transition column. Prior to being laid off she was a multi-decade employee of a large corporation. She was also the parent of several children, one of whom she lost to a rare childhood illness. She got herself another job within a year of her termination. She described her transition as enlivening. She was energetic and peaceful when we spoke. I will never forget how I felt as I listened to her tell me her story. Awful might be an exaggeration – but not much of one. I remember thinking, ‘how did I ever get myself in this predicament?’ Her confident, delighted state seemed a million miles away from where I sat.
Nine Seconds
That is all it took. Nine seconds. My mother is critically ill. In a period of nine seconds her heart performed in a pattern that catapulted her care in an entirely new direction. Those nine seconds offered a framework from which to proceed. Up until that moment there had been only isolated symptoms. All concerning. Independent. Nothing to bind them together. In that zone we were pursuing conclusions. Some aggressive. Ones we believed were supported by a data set. Thanks to nine seconds, all wrong. Nine seconds…..nine spectacular seconds. Continue reading…
A Simple Direction
Three of us had lunch. We got together because one of our crew was embroiled in a complex issue at work. We listened to facts. We agreed. We disagreed. We offered opinions. Two minutes before parting the two of us not in the spotlight that day gave quick updates. I told the story about my editor’s pre-Holiday remark, “I am finally hearing YOUR voice.” She said it to me after patiently reviewing draft upon draft of my book. Out of the blue a note arrived a few days after our lunch…. Continue reading…
Your gift….
Passion. These days I think the word is grossly overused. Society has toggled on its meaning for me over the past decades. When I was a kid I was first introduced to the word though Catholicism as it was used to describe the experience of Christ in the days between Holy Thursday and Easter Sunday, as in the passion of Christ. Later passion was linked to intimacy. And more recently passion is referenced everywhere as the expression of our heart’s truest voice. Our bliss. Continue reading…
Reframing
A torn little scrap of paper. Hot pink if you must know. It was once a post it note. The adhesive is long gone. I found it in the rubble that constitutes the contents of my day bag. In spite of its humble origins and slightly dog-eared presentment it was a life saver. A simple gift. Continue reading…
Walking with thanks…
“Thank you,” I wrote in an email last Friday. The recipient was one of a group of women who have graciously offered to read early drafts of my book. I complete chapters and ship them off for review and critique. I wait on pins and needles to hear their response. What comes back always requires me to do a lot of re-work. While humbling this couldn’t be a more energizing experience. In the moment that I wrote that email I realized just how inadequate the phrase ‘thank you’ seemed. Thank you. Continue reading…
In search of voice
Voice. To me voice represents the means by which we communicate what we care about to others. It might best be described as the framework we offer to others about ourselves. While oral…it also has significant non-verbal components. How do you think about voice? Continue reading…
A mantra
“You get to decide how you show up,” I said as I spoke with a roomful of women. We were talking about transition and the stress that can accompany its triggers. We’d spent the past ten minutes sharing stories about the obstacles that can get in our way….everyday. A boss. A difficult mother-in-law. A husband who is channeling the 1950’s. An illness. An upcoming marriage. Retirement. Tons of life events can qualify. Most of us have experienced at least one of these. Here’s the tricky part. What impact have you allowed it to have on your day? Your demeanor? Continue reading…
Recalibrating….
“Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something? ” I concluded to a friend this week. I had been awake since 3 a.m. that morning. For what? All sorts of issues – there seemed innumerable topics to toggle through. Writing challenges. A looming deadline. Congressional-like politics at one of my jobs. A home renovation project whose end point keeps receding. A family going in all different directions – literally – while managing in temporary living quarters. Did I mention that I hadn’t gone in weeks for my beloved 5:15 am walk with a neighbor? Silliness. Right? Continue reading…
Magic
“If I had to do it again I wouldn’t give so much energy to the down cycle,” shared Cindy in an early interview for my book. She had been a researcher/scientist at a well-known bio tech company in CA. Cindy was no shrinking flower. She started out as a PhD candidate who was handpicked while still a student to join a cross-disciplinary team at her future employer. Post graduation she ignored feelings that she wasn’t really happy in what she was doing. When she and her female partner moved to the East Coast for her partner’s job Cindy began to honor her feelings more. “I am surprised at how personal it was. My transition was long, evolving and gradual.” Continue reading…