“I’m going to prove to him that I can,” shared a friend who was struggling with a decision. She’d been in finance since we left college. She was really interested in statistics and the insights it could provide. She was thinking about going back to school for an advanced certificate in stats. She’d sought the advice of a professor who was involved in the program. He wasn’t encouraging when they met. But, his negativity fueled her. ‘I’ll show him’ she seemed to be saying. I couldn’t help but wonder if this guy was a barrier or a catalyst for her? Continue reading…
Passion’s Gift….
“From running, I learn to be passionate,” shared Yujue Wang one of seven runners on Boston University’s 2014 Boston Marathon Team. Wang’s story was part of a sea of media coverage this week commemorating the 2013 Boston Marathon tragedy. The BU team is running in memory of 23-year-old grad student Lu Lingzi who was killed last year close to the finish line. Miss Lingzi studied statistics. She loved American culture; blueberry waffles, Godiva dark chocolate, a CD cover of an Itzhak Perlman violin concerto (The New Yorker 4/17/2013). I was surprised and thankful to happen upon Miss Wang’s passion quest. I hadn’t up until that point connected its powerful gift… Continue reading…
Networking essentials…
“If you could pack a bag for a woman who was about to embark on a transition, what would you include?” I asked during an interview earlier this week. I love the question. It’s my favorite one to ask during Focus Groups. As women we carry bags, large and small. Brief cases. Totes. Shoulder bags. Handbags. If yours is anything like mine all manner of detritus can fit inside. Her answer to this bag dilemma? A mirror. Continue reading…
When does transition start?
“Nancy, Nancy, wake up!” I screeched as I tried to wake my sister from across the room. She and I had slept for an hour or two on chairs as we kept vigil at the hospital. My dad, the patient whose hand I was holding, had been battling cancer. Over the week leading up to that morning he’d gone from responsive and laughing to captive in a body fatigued by a long, complicated disease. Thirty minutes earlier I woke up to his erratic breathing. I knew it was time to say goodbye. “Wake up!” Continue reading…
Transition: a predictable event?
“Can you tell me when I’m about to transition?” asked a colleague and friend. Her tone was hopeful. Did I hear a nervous laugh? She was drowning a bit. She’d just sold her husband’s family home. She’d moved her own parents into assisted living. Her work life had real challenges and her fourth child was readying for college. It made me wonder, are transitions predictable? Continue reading…
Creativity’s role in transition
‘I’m not sure how to get from today to where I want to be,’ shared a colleague who is considering transition. She’s had a series of big jobs. She is a type A, fast-tracker. Her dream is to create a new marketing platform for an industry that she’s been in for years. The idea is disruptive and engaging and new. Sounds awesome, right? She carries the financial responsibility for her family among other demands. The result? A lot of ambiguity about how to transition. I wonder if there is any magic to how we transition? Continue reading…
Transition’s Enabler….
As you look forward into the New Year have you been considering transition? Maybe you’re rebounding from a 2013 job loss but you’re questioning if you want to get back into the same thing. Maybe you’re someone who has prioritized other’s needs over your own and now find yourself ready to re-prioritize. Maybe you are realizing that you need to regroup because your long sought after career choice isn’t all that you thought it might be. Whatever the drivers transition simply represents a point in time when we’re faced with a decision: to change or to transition. Which path will you choose?
Transition’s Pre-work….
“At the beginning of the year I was looking for a job,” shared a woman who was kind enough to talk with me about her transition. “I was in a miserable situation where I cried and hoped I’d get into a car accident on the way to work so I wouldn’t have to go that day.” What was going on? By her description she was in a highly charged, negative work environment. She felt irrelevant there despite a master’s degree and a heart ready-to-engage. These work conditions affected everything. Her job. Her relationship with her husband. Every facet of her life. Ever been there?
Another friend shared with me the particulars about her three transitions. “I just can’t do what I am doing anymore,” she said as a replay of the self-talk that characterized her feelings when she decided to begin.
While these stories are greatly excerpted I wonder if you sense any similarities? From my perch I hear each woman talking about getting to an end, a breaking point, before initiating a transition.
What are the prerequisites for transition? Should we adopt the model set out by these ladies? Full sprint until we reach a breaking point?
I hope not. My transition has taught me that at least two factors are worth keeping at the ready always…
Stay in touch with your ‘possible’ in whatever fashion you define possible. I remember an incredibly buoyant woman, a tenured marketing professional, who attended one of my Focus Groups. In her transition she was looking for work but her objective was broader than a paycheck. She sought re-alignment between her passions and her daily pursuits.
“I’ve been doing marketing forever. I like what I do. Am I passionate about it? No. And I need to rediscover that passion and align that with my skills. And it could be that I reaffirm that I want to stay in what I’m doing. That’s OK. But I have to find that again in myself in order to really be successful at job searching and ultimately at whatever position I get. And that’s a very uncomfortable place to be in. What am I going to do next?”
This woman committed full-time to her discovery. Terrific but not required. Can you give one hour a month to rekindle the sightlines to your passions? The real risk lies in extinguishing our passion’s voice. One hour?
Fail a little, often. “I wouldn’t do that,” remarked a friend as I detailed for her a rocky last few weeks. I was telling her about my grueling month leading up to the holidays. During that time I’d received a string of ‘no’s’ on one of my favorite projects. It was punishing and heartbreaking and oddly motivational.
Her remark? I took it to mean that rejection and failure just weren’t her bailiwick. Lucky for her she isn’t currently in transition.
Failure is a constant companion of transition. My new definition of transition is a decision to re-assess our underlying assumptions when faced with the need to change. The assumptions include our identity, our values, our capacity and our sense of purpose. At its core transition requires us to test out these new assumptions again and again. By its very nature, iterative.
Why fail a little? It builds up our capacity to reach. In the late 90’s I started a tech company that received venture capital financing. It was awesome. The less told story is that it wasn’t my first start-up. The start-up that preceded this swanky tech company failed. The earlier one had to shut down after two years. I think I cried for an entire weekend once the decision was made. Despondent? An understatement.
It took a while to regroup after that event but my ability to manage risk and failure was greatly expanded the next time I stepped to the plate. Can you find small ways to increase your fail tolerance?
In this season of resolutions and great beginnings can you commit yourself to these two guidelines? Search for your passion’s voice and fail, a little. My guess is that this is the only investment you’ll make in 2014 which is guaranteed to earn you exponential returns.
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A gift for you this holiday…
“What will be the fullest expression of your greatness?” Sounds jarring, doesn’t it? It isn’t meant to be. The New Yorker’s Philip Gourevitch stated in a Postscript piece eulogizing Nelson Mandela, “It was in the negotiations of apartheid’s end that Mandela’s greatness found its fullest expression.” The instant I read the sentence I loved it. Why? I believe that every person, no exception, has a greatness quotient. Our toughest work? Bringing it forth. Continue reading…
Defining moments…
“Find a way,” shared Diana Nyad in a recent interview. Nyad is the 60+ year old distance swimmer who recently completed a historic swim between Cuba and The United States. The phrase, it seems, served as her mantra for close to 53 hours in the water. She went on to offer that it allowed her to, “get through this one minute.” A minute that could have held a cramp or a pain or an emotion. Her swim was exactly that – a series of minutes. Could your transition benefit from such a simple perspective? Continue reading…