“It’s kind of hard to forge a path on your own….without saying, ‘I want to be like this,’ or follow the path that everyone follows. It’s really hard to say, ‘No, I’m not gonna do that’…,” said Deirdre, a thoughtful 40-ish woman who had emerged from the hallowed halls of academia. She went on, “It’s hard to say, ‘this is really what I want. There is no set path.'” In listening I wondered about having the confidence necessary to embark on one’s own path. Is it another of the requirements necessary for transition? Continue reading…
Looking forward…
“Oh, I can’t do that,” shared an interviewee with a soft laugh. We were talking about the internal barriers to transition. Have you ever heard a similar voice in your head? She’d transitioned before. She could easily see – in hindsight – the walls erected by her own assumptions. Those walls restricted her ability to envision what ‘might be.’ She went on, “I knew that I had to stop doing what I was doing. I didn’t know where I’d end up.” She seemed stalled by the simple question, ‘What’s next?’ Continue reading…
Fear and Moving Forward
“Have you ever been afraid?” asked an incredibly articulate 7th grader from the Timilty Middle School in Boston’s Roxbury neighborhood. The question came via a letter about a month ago as part of a pen pal program that I participate in between the school and Simmons College, my undergrad alma mater. He went on to share that his fears were rooted in the violence that plagues his neighborhood. How could he walk home alone? Not long ago a classmate at the Timilty, an honor student, was gunned down on the basketball court. Fear? Continue reading…
Three and counting….
“I really want to work for …..,” earnestly stated my friend Beth. She and I had worked together for many years. She wanted to parachute from technology into the sciences. The company she targeted was impressive although by no means alone in its field. Beth knew she could get an interview. But a job? She reasoned to herself that it was this company or nothing. Ever been there?
A network’s gift….
“I’m going to prove to him that I can,” shared a friend who was struggling with a decision. She’d been in finance since we left college. She was really interested in statistics and the insights it could provide. She was thinking about going back to school for an advanced certificate in stats. She’d sought the advice of a professor who was involved in the program. He wasn’t encouraging when they met. But, his negativity fueled her. ‘I’ll show him’ she seemed to be saying. I couldn’t help but wonder if this guy was a barrier or a catalyst for her? Continue reading…
Passion’s Gift….
“From running, I learn to be passionate,” shared Yujue Wang one of seven runners on Boston University’s 2014 Boston Marathon Team. Wang’s story was part of a sea of media coverage this week commemorating the 2013 Boston Marathon tragedy. The BU team is running in memory of 23-year-old grad student Lu Lingzi who was killed last year close to the finish line. Miss Lingzi studied statistics. She loved American culture; blueberry waffles, Godiva dark chocolate, a CD cover of an Itzhak Perlman violin concerto (The New Yorker 4/17/2013). I was surprised and thankful to happen upon Miss Wang’s passion quest. I hadn’t up until that point connected its powerful gift… Continue reading…
Networking essentials…
“If you could pack a bag for a woman who was about to embark on a transition, what would you include?” I asked during an interview earlier this week. I love the question. It’s my favorite one to ask during Focus Groups. As women we carry bags, large and small. Brief cases. Totes. Shoulder bags. Handbags. If yours is anything like mine all manner of detritus can fit inside. Her answer to this bag dilemma? A mirror. Continue reading…
When does transition start?
“Nancy, Nancy, wake up!” I screeched as I tried to wake my sister from across the room. She and I had slept for an hour or two on chairs as we kept vigil at the hospital. My dad, the patient whose hand I was holding, had been battling cancer. Over the week leading up to that morning he’d gone from responsive and laughing to captive in a body fatigued by a long, complicated disease. Thirty minutes earlier I woke up to his erratic breathing. I knew it was time to say goodbye. “Wake up!” Continue reading…
Transitions derailed….
“Oh, you’re dreaming,” shared Margot, a forty something Focus Group participant. She was relating a conversation with a family member who wasn’t necessarily embracing her transitional aspirations. Margot had exited a job that was a poor fit, pivoted to a new industry and added a husband and three children along the way. “What I’m investigating might not lead to a direct result,” she said. “Or it might happen down the line. You have to be comfortable with that….” Clearly her relatives were not. That evening we threw the relatives and several other issues into a bucket called derailers, those events that can cause us to stall or head for the hills while in transition. Have you ever encountered any? Continue reading…
Transition’s Interview Basics….
“What am I doing wrong?” fumed Mary Ellen, a mid-forties parent of three who was seeking my assistance in a job search. Her phone call came on the heels of learning that she didn’t make it to a finalist round for a sought after job. She was furious. Or was hurt a better description? She reasoned that she was perfect for the job. Continue reading…