“What is transition?” asked a woman who was giving me feedback on one of my project’s just prior to the end of last year. Her question was sincere. It’s a question that I get often. It always gives me pause. Transition. How would you define it? Continue reading…
A gift for you this holiday…
“What will be the fullest expression of your greatness?” Sounds jarring, doesn’t it? It isn’t meant to be. The New Yorker’s Philip Gourevitch stated in a Postscript piece eulogizing Nelson Mandela, “It was in the negotiations of apartheid’s end that Mandela’s greatness found its fullest expression.” The instant I read the sentence I loved it. Why? I believe that every person, no exception, has a greatness quotient. Our toughest work? Bringing it forth. Continue reading…
Conjuring our humanity…..
“We love you! We love you!” recalled Audrey Zabin in an interview on WBUR’s Kind World Series, “Remembering Karim: A Lifetime of Kindness.” She was summoning the words of a Lebanese gentleman, Karim, who was an attendant at a nondescript gas station in Cambridge, MA. Karim was an incredible man – part attendant, part therapist, part chef. A deep listener. Patrons at the gas station offered to help when Karim faced what would be a losing a battle with cancer. A rent-free apartment soon appeared, one that was more accessible to the station. So too, the funds required to return his body to Lebanon where his wife and children still remained. Are there many people you know who would garner such support from relative strangers? Continue reading…
Holiday gifts….
“What are you getting out of it?” offered a Focus Group participant. She was describing her rubric, the screening technique that she’d adopted to view her options. This slant was a new non-negotiable for her, designed specifically for her transition. “There was a time,” she said, “when I was getting divorced. I had a serious financial situation. I needed to keep the job.” Now, years later, she described her quick decision to take a ‘package,’ ending a multi-decade marketing career inside a large employer. Her adult siblings became thoroughly unglued by her decision. To her it was an obvious choice. The only choice. Does her calculus hold true for you? What are you getting – or giving this season? Continue reading…
Options?
‘It has a lot to do with how women see their options,’ observed a leader of gender studies at an esteemed Boston university. She participated as an industry expert in last spring’s Research Jam. This remark was in response to our discussion about when & why women choose to transition. Her perspective was incredibly simple. Do women perceive that they have options? Some do. Many others don’t. In your world what role do options play? What would happen if you expanded your aperture for options just a bit? Continue reading…
Is anyone listening?
“I think I have more confidence in what I want for myself — instead of valuing what other people think of me,” shared an incredibly honest focus group participant. She went on to describe this renewed perspective as a critical milestone in her transition. The comment came amidst a discussion about the difficulty of declining job opportunities – and their accompanying salaries — despite the fact that the jobs no longer aligned with her personal requirements. Her transition allowed her to arrive at, “No, that’s not what I want for myself, this is what I want for myself.” You could hear the personal pep talk in her remark….she’d arrived but her status was tenuous at best. Continue reading…
The Big Picture….
Have you ever missed an opportunity to transition? Knew that something wasn’t right but felt it wasn’t the right time to address it? Or better yet, ignored the signs? Or maybe you were oblivious to the signs entirely. If I’m honest I completely missed an opportunity to transition about five years prior to my current one. It wasn’t so much that I ignored the signs. I was aware that I needed a change. What I didn’t get was the enormity of the change required. I can’t help but wonder if I’m not alone in this borderline clueless category. Continue reading…
Assessing forward progress…
“What has been the most difficult part of your transition?” asked a friend in a shaky voice. Her tone underscored her status. She sounded on edge. My guess was that she was reeling from yet another setback. Ever been there? I was momentarily silent in response to her question. Which parts? In my mind several were vying for the preeminent spot…most difficult. Continue reading…
A decade’s lesson: maintain relationships
“I figured out how the guys do it,” screeched an exasperated friend following a conversation with a former colleague. Over the course of the call my friend learned about a common practice in the financial services industry…parking certifications. It seems that if a person leaves a large firm to ‘work’ in a consulting capacity said professional can hold onto their certifications. Not so if that person simply becomes unemployed. ‘That’s how the old boys network does it,” she fumed. “They park someone’s certs and say they are ‘consulting.'” She was beside herself. From her perch….this ‘parking’ courtesy wasn’t often extended to women regardless of their vocation after leaving a large firm. Continue reading…
Summer Book Review #30: Eleven Rings: The Soul of Success
“Part of me has been taken away,” shared a bright energetic woman during a 1:1 interview I conducted for Novofemina’s Research Jam. We had pivoted to her personal story after she had agreed to share some transition observations from a women’s economic development organization where she worked. A career change. A new husband. A first child. Mixed in with these life events I heard isolation and failure, or something that resembled it. Her reaction?