Three of us had lunch. We got together because one of our crew was embroiled in a complex issue at work. We listened to facts. We agreed. We disagreed. We offered opinions. Two minutes before parting the two of us not in the spotlight that day gave quick updates. I told the story about my editor’s pre-Holiday remark, “I am finally hearing YOUR voice.” She said it to me after patiently reviewing draft upon draft of my book. Out of the blue a note arrived a few days after our lunch…. Continue reading…
Magic
“If I had to do it again I wouldn’t give so much energy to the down cycle,” shared Cindy in an early interview for my book. She had been a researcher/scientist at a well-known bio tech company in CA. Cindy was no shrinking flower. She started out as a PhD candidate who was handpicked while still a student to join a cross-disciplinary team at her future employer. Post graduation she ignored feelings that she wasn’t really happy in what she was doing. When she and her female partner moved to the East Coast for her partner’s job Cindy began to honor her feelings more. “I am surprised at how personal it was. My transition was long, evolving and gradual.” Continue reading…
Your path….forward
“We come back to ourselves only better,” shared an interviewee in a Voices of Transitions post from 2012. Her name was Maria. She described her transition as an experience that she was ‘in and out of’ over a decade. In that timeframe she experienced both intentional and unintentional transition. One occurred when she was pregnant and was unexpectedly limited to bedrest despite a strategic unraveling at her tech start-up employer. Another at a time when the care needs of her daughter required a full court press. Regardless of the triggers this decade long evolution required her to step out of her comfort zone and onto a new path… Continue reading…
Right of passage….
“The greatest invention there ever was,” said my neighbor. He was referring to bubbles while watching my children screech in delight as they ran around blowing and popping and laughing. Even this professorial neighbor who doesn’t offer much by way of conversation smiled and laughed. What a simple gift…. Continue reading…
Passion’s Gift….
“From running, I learn to be passionate,” shared Yujue Wang one of seven runners on Boston University’s 2014 Boston Marathon Team. Wang’s story was part of a sea of media coverage this week commemorating the 2013 Boston Marathon tragedy. The BU team is running in memory of 23-year-old grad student Lu Lingzi who was killed last year close to the finish line. Miss Lingzi studied statistics. She loved American culture; blueberry waffles, Godiva dark chocolate, a CD cover of an Itzhak Perlman violin concerto (The New Yorker 4/17/2013). I was surprised and thankful to happen upon Miss Wang’s passion quest. I hadn’t up until that point connected its powerful gift… Continue reading…
Networking essentials…
“If you could pack a bag for a woman who was about to embark on a transition, what would you include?” I asked during an interview earlier this week. I love the question. It’s my favorite one to ask during Focus Groups. As women we carry bags, large and small. Brief cases. Totes. Shoulder bags. Handbags. If yours is anything like mine all manner of detritus can fit inside. Her answer to this bag dilemma? A mirror. Continue reading…
When does transition start?
“Nancy, Nancy, wake up!” I screeched as I tried to wake my sister from across the room. She and I had slept for an hour or two on chairs as we kept vigil at the hospital. My dad, the patient whose hand I was holding, had been battling cancer. Over the week leading up to that morning he’d gone from responsive and laughing to captive in a body fatigued by a long, complicated disease. Thirty minutes earlier I woke up to his erratic breathing. I knew it was time to say goodbye. “Wake up!” Continue reading…
Our best defense….
“Everyone else, from my dear husband on, and all of my friends, don’t quite get it,” shared a Focus Group participant. We were discussing the reactions of those around us to transition. This woman was no shrinking flower. She had been the chief researcher at a well-known organization. Early in her career she had successfully transitioned. This was her second time at the plate. She wasn’t alone in her sentiment. All present acknowledged the confusion experienced by many of those closest to them. She summarized the view from a friend’s perspective, “If that’s how you’ve always identified yourself and (now you) don’t identify yourself…then who are you?” They don’t quite get it…. Continue reading…
People: transition’s holy grail
“I think I don’t have the right reference groups for what I want to be doing in my life,” shared a Focus Group participant. We were discussing the support structures necessary to navigate transition. Another woman shared, “I think people who have been through it before and for me sometimes it’s people who are actually new to me.” Wow. On balance these ladies sought new, more objective supporting casts as they made their way through transition. Best friends. Mothers. Siblings. Many came up short. Who constitutes your support structure in transition? Continue reading…
Adding more….
“We’ve arrived at this process in an additive way,” offered an articulate woman at a dinner I attended earlier this week. We were talking about a key process for a finance organization while perched high above New York’s East River in a gorgeously appointed pre-war apartment. “We started with a good focus but kept adding items as people joined. Each ‘add’ was in response to an issue raised by a new participant.” The result? An unwieldy thirty step process that arguably undermined the original goals. Have you ever experienced something like this? Additive. Continue reading…