“My husband never ran out of a personal care product,” bragged a distant aunt about a household she’d run for close to 50 years. She’d crafted her life as a homemaker and mother who took obvious pride in the subtleties of her world. How do you respond to such a pronouncement? I didn’t share that I wouldn’t know if my husband lacked deodorant because I have yet to adopt that purchase responsibility despite 17 years of marriage. Instead of responding I sat there respectfully mute while others in attendance offered praise. Praise? Continue reading…
Summer Book Review #27: Lean In
“This doesn’t get me,” remarked Carolyn Bates, a recent Notre Dame grad, from the dressing room of a mid-western retailer. (Fat Talk Carries a Cost, Hoffman, NYT, 5/28/2013, D4). This exchange from ‘Fat Talk Carries a Cost‘ highlighted body-centered self-deprecating women speak. Have you ever heard something like, “I can’t believe I ate that brownie. I am so fat!” Or responded, “You must be joking, you are not fat. Just look at my thighs!” (Fat Talk, NYT, 5/28/2013, D4) The article identified cultural norms that include all manner of negative retorts meant to maintain relationships. This doesn’t get me was presented as positive, a pivot. Continue reading…