“Nancy, Nancy, wake up!” I screeched as I tried to wake my sister from across the room. She and I had slept for an hour or two on chairs as we kept vigil at the hospital. My dad, the patient whose hand I was holding, had been battling cancer. Over the week leading up to that morning he’d gone from responsive and laughing to captive in a body fatigued by a long, complicated disease. Thirty minutes earlier I woke up to his erratic breathing. I knew it was time to say goodbye. “Wake up!” Continue reading…
Transitions derailed….
“Oh, you’re dreaming,” shared Margot, a forty something Focus Group participant. She was relating a conversation with a family member who wasn’t necessarily embracing her transitional aspirations. Margot had exited a job that was a poor fit, pivoted to a new industry and added a husband and three children along the way. “What I’m investigating might not lead to a direct result,” she said. “Or it might happen down the line. You have to be comfortable with that….” Clearly her relatives were not. That evening we threw the relatives and several other issues into a bucket called derailers, those events that can cause us to stall or head for the hills while in transition. Have you ever encountered any? Continue reading…
Transition’s Interview Basics….
“What am I doing wrong?” fumed Mary Ellen, a mid-forties parent of three who was seeking my assistance in a job search. Her phone call came on the heels of learning that she didn’t make it to a finalist round for a sought after job. She was furious. Or was hurt a better description? She reasoned that she was perfect for the job. Continue reading…
Gratitude: transition’s enabler
Gratitude is a big word and stands on the precipice of overuse at the moment. I’m always wary of such popular words because it reminds me of a former colleague who was a flavor-of-the-month buzzword type. Have you ever met one? One month, vulnerability. The next, birth order, transparency, and on and on. It never really served him well. For example, I remember being corned once by an employee who had interviewed with this guy. “You have to talk to him,” he appealed. It seems that during his interview Mr. Buzzword had asked about this gentleman’s parent, a parent who had abused this guy as a kid. After that little adventure I characterize myself as ‘duly schooled’ on the risks of trendy-word overuse. Gratitude. Continue reading…
Transition: a financial lens
“The other big shift for me was just recognizing that security is all illusion,” shared a Focus Group participant. We were discussing our lessons learned from transition. The surprises? “I started letting go or recognizing that what I thought was security really wasn’t gaining me the traction for joy or however you want to label it,” she went on. “That was a big let go….(letting go of) going after the paycheck because I thought I needed that security.” Have you bumped into similar lessons? Continue reading…
Transition: a predictable event?
“Can you tell me when I’m about to transition?” asked a colleague and friend. Her tone was hopeful. Did I hear a nervous laugh? She was drowning a bit. She’d just sold her husband’s family home. She’d moved her own parents into assisted living. Her work life had real challenges and her fourth child was readying for college. It made me wonder, are transitions predictable? Continue reading…
Our best defense….
“Everyone else, from my dear husband on, and all of my friends, don’t quite get it,” shared a Focus Group participant. We were discussing the reactions of those around us to transition. This woman was no shrinking flower. She had been the chief researcher at a well-known organization. Early in her career she had successfully transitioned. This was her second time at the plate. She wasn’t alone in her sentiment. All present acknowledged the confusion experienced by many of those closest to them. She summarized the view from a friend’s perspective, “If that’s how you’ve always identified yourself and (now you) don’t identify yourself…then who are you?” They don’t quite get it…. Continue reading…
Creativity’s role in transition
‘I’m not sure how to get from today to where I want to be,’ shared a colleague who is considering transition. She’s had a series of big jobs. She is a type A, fast-tracker. Her dream is to create a new marketing platform for an industry that she’s been in for years. The idea is disruptive and engaging and new. Sounds awesome, right? She carries the financial responsibility for her family among other demands. The result? A lot of ambiguity about how to transition. I wonder if there is any magic to how we transition? Continue reading…
People: transition’s holy grail
“I think I don’t have the right reference groups for what I want to be doing in my life,” shared a Focus Group participant. We were discussing the support structures necessary to navigate transition. Another woman shared, “I think people who have been through it before and for me sometimes it’s people who are actually new to me.” Wow. On balance these ladies sought new, more objective supporting casts as they made their way through transition. Best friends. Mothers. Siblings. Many came up short. Who constitutes your support structure in transition? Continue reading…
Adding more….
“We’ve arrived at this process in an additive way,” offered an articulate woman at a dinner I attended earlier this week. We were talking about a key process for a finance organization while perched high above New York’s East River in a gorgeously appointed pre-war apartment. “We started with a good focus but kept adding items as people joined. Each ‘add’ was in response to an issue raised by a new participant.” The result? An unwieldy thirty step process that arguably undermined the original goals. Have you ever experienced something like this? Additive. Continue reading…