I made an observation last night as I was sitting in our dining room with some old friends who stopped by. We talked and laughed. We learned about how the holidays were taking shape within each of our respective lives. It was lighthearted. But I knew that there was a lot missing from our conversation. One of our comrades had recently lost a parent, two others were in the throes of job searches, still another had recently chosen to undergo cosmetic surgery. One was exhaling – thankfully exhaling – since an adult child who had previously struggled with substance abuse was in a good place. Blessedly. Continue reading…
Our Script
“What if I want to work at the cheese counter at Whole Foods?” asked a women of me earlier this week after a speaking engagement that I did to promote my book, Women & Transition. She was the parent of a toddler and someone for whom Whole Foods would never have been an option prior to childbirth. I’d describe her as a type-A achiever who was asking important questions of herself. Did I hear frustration in her voice? Resignation? She seemed to be toggling back and forth between a new identity and one more firmly entrenched. My suspicion was that the newer one had already introduced her to unfamiliar waypoints and some unusual reactions from others. Continue reading…
Unchartered Territory
“I just finished your book,” shared a friend who had graciously offered to help me by reading a pre-release version of it. “I have tears in my eyes,” she said. “That last line in the text…perfect” She is an incredibly intelligent financial services veteran who stays home full-time with three children. She recently reestablished her family in our town after a major geographic move initiated by her husband’s job. Net net she’s no stranger to transition. What she didn’t know as I opened her email….. Continue reading…
A simple step: reframe
Last week my ten-year old son and I watched the replay of the first game of the NBA finals between the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Golden State Warriors. We were rooting for the Golden State Warriors, his stand-in team given that his beloved Celtics will sit this one out. Thanks to his interest, I stumbled onto a terrific example of one of my favorite transition tools – reframing.
The Courage of No
When was the last time you said, no? I’m not asking about passing up a calorie laden dessert or skipping an indulgence at your favorite retail escape. I am asking about turning down something meaningful because you knew deep down that it wasn’t right. A job offer? A proposal? A move? Someone else’s expectations? Continue reading…
Creativity’s role in transition
‘I’m not sure how to get from today to where I want to be,’ shared a colleague who is considering transition. She’s had a series of big jobs. She is a type A, fast-tracker. Her dream is to create a new marketing platform for an industry that she’s been in for years. The idea is disruptive and engaging and new. Sounds awesome, right? She carries the financial responsibility for her family among other demands. The result? A lot of ambiguity about how to transition. I wonder if there is any magic to how we transition? Continue reading…
A gift for you this holiday…
“What will be the fullest expression of your greatness?” Sounds jarring, doesn’t it? It isn’t meant to be. The New Yorker’s Philip Gourevitch stated in a Postscript piece eulogizing Nelson Mandela, “It was in the negotiations of apartheid’s end that Mandela’s greatness found its fullest expression.” The instant I read the sentence I loved it. Why? I believe that every person, no exception, has a greatness quotient. Our toughest work? Bringing it forth. Continue reading…
Transition Approach: certain versus confident
I remember a great NPR piece from the summer of 2009. I was driving in traffic, my typical commute. Eight miles in 55 minutes. The discussion’s topic was leadership. The reason it caught me was that it described leadership in two simple yet separate buckets; certain or confident. It hit me because I think that every leader I have ever worked under would think of herself or himself as confident when in fact they were more often certain. I wonder if this simple dichotomy works in transition as well? Continue reading…
Summer Book Review Finale: Learnings?
An incident struck me yesterday morning. I was walking with two neighbors at the crack of dawn — as I do regularly. We were discussing an issue that hit a chord with one of my compatriots. She physically changed as the conversation ensued. Her body tensed and she began to shake ever so slightly. Needless to say she was very keyed up. She was struggling with anyone – it didn’t matter whom – who couldn’t see this topic the way she did. From my view she seemed absolutely CLOSED to anything anyone else had to say.
It was a powerful juxtaposition to my summer – a summer that opened me up to scores of new thinking about women’s transition issues. Continue reading…
Summer Book Review #12: Women in Career & Life Transitions
Do you remember the sock puppet commercial from the early 2000’s? I think it was for pets.com or some other internet start-up. A sock puppet with scraggly hair and button eyes would respond with the phrase, “the horror,” to many missives tossed at it. It was silly and cavalier and – most of the time – just perfect.
The sock puppet’s “horror” voice was in my ear in Continue reading…